When America's Next Pundit Supermodels Collide (and Mark Levin)

This weekend's now famous confrontation began with Sean Hannity calling into a talk show that Alec Baldwin was guest hosting. The two are well known poli-tainment playground rivals and they did not disappoint. Playground bully extraordinaire Hannity brought along his radioland cohort, (self-described) "constitutional expert" Mark Levin for added childishness. Highlights included verbal barbs like:

"no-talent, former construction worker hack (Baldwin to Hannity)," "reckless, third-rate Hollywood actor (Hannity to Baldwin)," "gutless coward (Hannity to Baldwin),"are you 40 or 50 pounds overweight now? (Levin to Baldwin)," "you have a two digit IQ (Levin to Baldwin)," "who's your little cabin boy there with you? (Baldwin to Levin),"I'm not a cabin boy, butt-boy (Levin to Baldwin)," "You're "Brokeback" Alec (Levin to Baldwin)." etc. etc. ad nauseum...

I must concede that conservative base agitators have a point when they assert that Hollywood actors don't belong in politics. This freinds, is what has become of our founding fathers' gift of free debate: the steering of the national dialogue by tabloid news mouthpieces and sushi-scarfing armchair political philosophers.

I await breathlessly, next weeks debate over which of these three is actually more overweight. No doubt, Scott Mclellan is already crafting talking points to the effect of, "The White House does not comment on an ongiong gastric expansion."

Provoke The Immigrants (Brownies, you're doing a heckuva job no American wants)

As the escalation continues in the runup to the "War on Cumin-istas" and the fight against "mAl-Queso," I propose we take a tip from Gee Dub and provoke the demonstrators in Los Angeles with Air Force C-130's painted in UN colors. Think about it, if we can draw them out there's no doubt we can pre-emptively solve the immigration debacle with a doctrine of "Shock and Awe." Should one brown demonstrator even as-much-as throw a rock towards said plane, we could appeal to the UN Security Council for a resolution approving decisive military action. Without such provocation it may be too risky to act unilaterally against this throng of radicals who hate our job-complacency.